Punks Not Dead… Neither Are Dick Jokes

Note: I’m typing this blog while listening to Janis Joplin & The Band so I may come off as a little bit happier than usual it’s because of the great fucking music, so learn to like it.

Today I found out where my priorities in lie when I asked an expert at Loyalist College (my school) about memorizing essays, not for the purposes of writing essays but for memorizing stand up material….

Ordinarily I will come up with, write and arrange witty observations and thought provoking one liners, or at the very least juvenile profanity laced richard jokes (that’s dick jokes for you non- Thespians out there), but being funny (or not funny)  is not my problem, my problem lies with memorizing specific jokes. What I mean is I can’t seem to memorize my own material I created, I don’t know if this is a one in ten million type of thing but it’s kind of disheartening, imagine you were a phenomenal actor but you couldn’t for the life of you remember your lines, sucks dick, doesn’t it? Well, why not give it the old college try and go for broke Saturday night!

My first day of post secondary indoctrination is fast approaching and all I can think about is comedy, well that and WWE ’12. I know what you’re thinking “Video games are for children, you can’t throw away your life for a game” “Comedy isn’t a real career” I can and will throw my life away any damn way I please. Saturday night I am set to make my on stage debut in front of tens of people, okay so it’s only going to be about 7 or 8, what the fuck have you done? I’m not really nervous and part of the reason is the video game, so you see video game can help.

Back to school, I am excited (hopefully I get laid) I just don’t want to get preoccupied with school before I do stand up. You best bet I intend on being top of my class, that way my future offspring can’t question why I didn’t graduate, that shit would get old real fast.

I’m on to Steve Miller Band now, and not surprisingly I’m thinking of pornography. It’s probably no great secret, being a single guy with little to no game (I can make em laugh and smile, but I can’t get the digits) I enjoy myself some pornographic material from time to time, the heart wants what the heart wants. I’m into alt. porn the most, not because it’s a fetish, but because I’ve been a punk since birth, I like rough and passionate sex and I never except the norm. Yes, I’m a radical even in my pornographic selection, still can’t figure out why I’m single.

So, what have we learned from this blog? besides the fact that I’m a perverted wise cracking slacker who refuses to grow up and conform….

Punks not dead, neither is individuality, don’t change for no one, especially the man.

Peace, love and big orgasms for all,


p.s. Play us out, Lars!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__5LeG3sZ9Q

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