I Broke Her Hymen… She Broke My Heart

It’s been awhile since I posted one of these, I’ve been busy watching The Shield, jerking off and writing love letters, but I have a feeling these blog post will be coming more frequently when I begin college in January. I’m actually really excited to go to Loyalist, not only does it give me a chance to acquire new skills, and further my education but it will help repair my mortally wounded social life, plus students get free gym memberships, so it’s really a double win.

Another thing that has been weighing heavily on my thoughts is my career as a Stand up Comedian. It looks like my next show will be in late February, and it won’t be the same 30 minute format as last time, I was thinking more like two 30 minute shows in one night with a 20 minute or so intermission (like Hockey), only this time I’ll actually rehearse before the show, and there will be posters and ads to generate more interest from people who are not immediate family, friends or friends of friends. I’m pretty fucking ecstatic to say the least!

How awesome was The Shield… Exactly, really fucking awesome! When I started episode one, season one of FX series I thought it would be good, but by the end of the episode I knew I was in for a ride (they should pay me for the inevitable DVD/Blu-ray sales I give them with this blog). Vic, Shane, Lem & Ronnie were like my Brothers, my dysfunctional, extremely corrupt, murdering bastard Brothers. I never witnessed a bad episode of The Shield and the cameos by Hollywood Heavyweights Forest Whitaker & Glenn Close were phenomenal and gave the show even more credibility, as if they needed anymore of that. This show actually had an impact on me. Expect a little cop lingo and a few baggies of heroin to be planted on you next time you see me. On to The Wire…..

Now that I got tv shows that are no longer on the air out of the way, here’s a joke for the 2 or 3 people who will actually read this….

I’m completely against drunk and reckless driving, the way I see it the less vehicular fatalities, the better… Unless we’re talking about NASCAR. If they started encouraging drunk and reckless driving in NASCAR I would probably start watching. Imagine instead of left turns all day we had half the drivers go right and the other half go left, have ‘em meet in the middle. There’s nothing like flaming mid air cartwheels, head on collisions and alcohol fuelled mid- track brawls to start your Sunday afternoon. I’m sure Axe & Red Bull would be all over that shit.

I’m aware I never really touched on breaking of the hymen or the heart, so I had to add this.

I’ve got a great name for a Country song “I broke Her Hymen, She Broke My Heart!”. That would have to make the CMT Top 20!



2 responses to “I Broke Her Hymen… She Broke My Heart

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