The build-up….

John Cena

The goal is to book John Cena very strong going into WrestleMania. Similar to the way he looked on Monday Night RAW a few weeks ago against CM Punk. No bad puns, no cheesy motivational speeches from Disney movies. The people want the authentic, no bullshit, ass-kicking Cena. The man who stood toe-to-toe with The Rock in the ring last year, the man who humbled the self-prophesied “Great One” on the microphone.

Since, in the long run it is a terrible match-up for World Wrestling Entertainment and their locker-room, the so-called big money rematch is scrapped. There is no ‘Twice in a lifetime’ in my world.

Instead, the big rematch took place at “Elimination Chamber”. John Cena beat The Rock with the AA in match lasting around 18 minutes, earning his retribution. Now Cena can focus on his WWE Championship match at WrestleMania XXIX.

CM Punk:
This is where the matchmaking takes a strange turn. The WWE Championship was never taken off CM Punk.
Punk continued to be untouchable. Going into WrestleMania, the champ has not been pinned or submitted for over one year.

Hot on Punk’s heels is John Cena, as he’s challenged the Straight Edge Superstar for the WWE championship following his Royal Rumble win. Punk and Cena spar verbally, mostly semi-shoot style. We’re not talking about Dwayne and his army of writers here. In the end, this match would be about proving who is the best in the world, CM Punk or John Cena.

The Rock:

Why is The Rock back in WWE, if not to put over full-time wrestlers? Yes, he is a huge draw, but, a loss does not hurt him at all. But, a win elevates the victor to another level. If we got an aggressive, yet selfless, Rock, we get a great match, and a mega-monster.

Mark Henry:

He was arguably the most dominant wrestler in SmackDown history, and thought by many to be the most improved wrestler in over decade, and Mark Henry is pic king u p right where he left off before injury. The more devastating “the World’s Strongest Man” becomes, the more people will put down their money and rally behind a superstar in hopes of seeing the big man vanquished. Imagine how unstoppable Henry will be if he knocks off one of the biggest stars in all of all time. If Ryback, Regins, Rollins, Ambrose, or any other young star WWE want to make was to defeat Henry, they would have a brand-new superstar on their hands, and that can only be good for business.

Brock Lesnar:

Brock Lesnar is a war machine. He hurts people, and he makes a lot of money for WWE. Decimating all who stand in his path (Josh Mathews included), you don’t change a thing, other than his opponent….

The Undertaker:

Just let Taker do his thing. This would be a largely ground-based brawl, with a big spot or two.

Chris Jericho:

Chris Jericho, along with Antonio Cesaro and Daniel Bryan, is one of the best scientific wrestler in world today. Add Jericho’s history recent history with a certain show-stealer, and you have all the makings for a classic WrestleMania match. The catch is, Jericho beat Alberto Del Rio, with the unwanted and unseen assistance of Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter, for the World Championship.

Dolph Ziggler:

Speaking of show-stealers, Dolph Ziggler is the perfect opponent for the “Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla”, on ‘the grandest stage of them all’. This is the match to springboard Ziggler from jobber-land to the main event world championship scene. If anyone can get Ziggler over as a credible main event player, it’s Jericho. If Jericho can’t put Ziggler over, no one can. Ziggler goes on a win-streak prior.


The man with the tapeworm would look really strong against the Shield, almost vanishing them, but falling just short.

The Shield: 

Ambrose, Rollins, &   cannot lose just yet, at least not as a unit. We have one of them lose, in singles action, probably at SummerSlam. But as for WrestleMania, you have three men wronged by the Shield take it to the trio.


“The Big Red Machine” is pissed off at the Shield and he’s taking it out on them, no holds barred.

Big Show:

The big man is no fan of anyone who gets in his way, regardless of their affiliation. He hates the WWE Universe, but he hates the Shield even more. Here, Show kicks ass, take names, and decks his own teammate, Ryback, setting up a feud post-Mania, thus allowing Rollins to hit Kane from behind with the top rope kneedrop, leaving him open for the spear, and a Shield win.

Daniel Bryan:

It looks like a Kane tag match, or feud with his partner Kane is the only logical way to go for Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania. However, I’m the arm-chair booker, and I want to break up Kane and Bryan at the Royal Rumble. Have them fight at Elimination Chamber and be done before WrestleMania. Daniel Bryan beat Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental championship on RAW. Bryan will be defending his title at WrestleMania against the United States Champion in a unification match.

Antonio Cesaro:

There have been thousands of Antonio Cesaro matches, in WWE, and in several other promotions, but there has never been a Cesaro opponent quite like Bryan. Cesaro and Bryan have a chemistry rivalling that of Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat. If you have seen even one of their matches, you can’t help but agree. There is no need to make Bryan the bad guy when everyone seems to love cheering him. Cesaro is the perfect foreign foe for the bearded dragon.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter:

Similar to what is going on currently in WWE, only taken more serious, Colter and Swagger are volunteers at the border, deporting people violently, and belittling Mexicans and Mexican Americans, regardless of their citizenship. We want the ignorance and racism aped up to 11, the crowd needs to despise these two, I’m talking Ku Klux Klan shit here. When they kidnap and deport Ricardo Rodriguez, Alberto Del Rio snaps….

Alberto Del Rio:

With Ricardo Rodriguez deported by Uncle Zeb & Swagger, Del Rio gets dead serious about taking Swag to the woodshed. This is not going to be much of a match, more of a take-no-prisoners fight that ends when both men violently brawl to a double disqualification. This would end with Swagger power-bombing Del Rio over the top rope thru a table outside of the ring below. This would continue on to Extreme Rules, where it would culminate.

Wade Barrett:

Wade Barrett needs a match.


So does Sheamus.

Randy Orton:

He’s a big name, you have to put him somewhere.

Rhodes Scholars:

Next tag team champions.

New Age Outlaws:

They’re around, why not put them in a match.

Prime Time Players:

They deserve the spot. I would have had them beat Hell No at Royal Rumble.

WRESTLEMANIA XXIX – from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey

United States Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion in Title Unification Match: Daniel Bryan (IC) vs. Antonio Cesaro (US) – Cesaro wins and chooses the Intercontinental Championship, throwing down the former US crown.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young) (c) vs. Rhodes Scholars vs. The New Age Outlaws – Rhodes Scholars win.

Zeb Colter speech leads into match.

Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter vs. Alberto Del Rio – No contest. Continues at Extreme Rules.

Backstage promos

No Holds Barred: The Shield (Rollins, Regins, & Ambrose) vs. Ryback, Big Show, & Kane –  Inevitable miscommunication costs the gargantuan trio the match.

Triple Threat Match: Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett – Because, why not? Maybe a 12 minute match. Barrett gets the W.

Pre-match interviews with Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler on their upcoming Championship match.

World Championship match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho (c) – Jericho wins, but not decisively. The feud continues on and off , until Ziggler finally wins the championship at SummerSlam.

World Championship match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho (c) – Jericho wins, but not decisively. The feud continues on and off , until Ziggler finally wins the championship at SummerSlam.

Lesnar/Undertaker video package leading into their “No DQ match” –  Lesnar wins. Goes on to kick more ass as a monster heel.

Streak Match: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar – Taker wins.

The Black Keys perform

World Championship match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho (c) – Jericho wins, but not decisively. The feud continues on and off , until Ziggler finally wins the championship at SummerSlam.

The Rock vs. Mark Henry – Henry scores the upset win after a World’s Strongest Slam from the second rope.

Main event WWE Championship Match: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena – A gruelling classic, won by Punk. Henry eventually faces Punk at SummerSlam, Henry wins, and a new star beats Henry at WrestleMania XXX.

Let’s see if the real show can compare!

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